Hawkbusy

I'm still trying to get the green light for 'Badge'.

Channel 4 said they're interested but they want to make Terry into Tina Flange - a female lawyer who lives in a fashionable townhouse with a Pekinese and who paints portraits in her spare time - and no monkeys, either. I don't think they understood it at all, so I told them to stuff it and stormed out, turning only briefly to pocket their plate of biscuits.

I've approached Marty Parmesan recently, you may be acquainted with his work. More4 will be doing a Parmesan retrospective next month. Obviously they'll have all the usual stuff like 'Slot' and 'Knockercake' as well as 'Cash Up Your Mouth'. But Marty has done some quality productions, too, like the little-known 'Cable the Baker' - his award winning documentary on that poor woman from Hartlepool who couldn't stop herself squatting over slumbering artisans and squeezing them out a hot dog.